Avoid Passive Language to Improve Pacing and Engagement
Passive language includes words, phrasing, and grammatical constructions that lack movement or forward momentum and make the action feel slow or sluggish.
The two biggest culprits are the be-verb and passive voice.
What's the Problem with Be-verbs?
No Movement Whatsoever
BE is a state-of-being verb. Otherwise known as linking verbs, these verbs link the subject of the sentence to a condition of being, be it physical, emotional, and so on. State-of-being verbs simply indicate the type of condition being expressed. Of these immobile verbs, BE is the worst, and when overused, it can slow the pacing because it has no pacing of its own.
No Character Whatsoever
There’s nothing interesting about this verb. It’s just there.
The be-verb tells.
And telling isn’t very engaging.
Replacing Be-verbs
The following questions can help you replace unnecessary be-verbs. Ask each question in order until you find one that works. The ultimate goal is to replace be-verbs with action verbs, but as you'll see from the third question, there is an alternative.
Can it be replaced by an action verb?
The dogs are outside. ➥ The dogs went outside.
A simple swap-out of one verb for another is sometimes a quick fix.
Will a rewrite work?
The dogs are outside. ➥ I let the dogs out when I got home.
This should be a quick and simple rewrite. Retooling an entire paragraph or forcing awkward wording is not necessary.
Can it be replaced by another state-of-being verb?
They are excited. ➥ They look excited.
Most state-of-being verbs can also be action verbs, so they carry a sense of movement even when there isn't any. This is an improvement over the overly stagnant be-verb.
Be-verbs
be, am, is, are, was, were, been, being
What Is Passive Voice?
In passive voice, the object of the verb becomes the subject of the sentence, making the subject the thing being acted upon.
The ball was thrown by Timmy.
The ball is the object of the throwing. Timmy is the one performing the action of the verb.
Active voice, on the contrary, puts the performer of the verb in the subject position and the object of the verb in its rightful spot.
Timmy threw the ball.
The Trouble with Passive Voice
Passive voice can slow your pacing when overused. It's like entering through the back door and driving in reverse.
It’s an indirect description of what’s happening and it takes longer to get to where you’re going.
Replacing Passive Voice
The good news about passive voice is that in many situations, you can simply invert the sentence to make it active:
Passive: The ball was thrown by Timmy.
Active: Timmy threw the ball.
Passive: The cattle were startled by the lightning.
Active: The lightning startled the cattle.
However, sometimes the performer of the verb isn't mentioned. In these cases, you have to decide if it's worth it to add that person or thing to the sentence, and if not, if a different type of rewrite (other than inverting the sentence) or just leaving the sentence is passive voice is better.
Passive: The dogs were groomed yesterday.
Active: The groomer... uh, groomed?... the dogs yesterday. (Or maybe the groomer has a name: Max groomed the dogs yesterday—is it worth mentioning him?)
Active: I took the dogs to the groomer yesterday. (Inverting the sentence doesn't work in this case, so a different type of rewrite is required.)
Passive Voice
Want to Learn More?
If you haven't gotten your copy of No Rules, Just Tools, buy the paperback now from your favorite online retailer. Or download the ebook from Amazon (free for Kindle Unlimited subscribers).
The book features full chapters about dealing with be-verbs and passive voice, along with many other topics, like avoiding descriptors (adjectives and adverbs), mastering show, don't tell, understanding deep POV, and more!